My parents got divorced when I was in middle school. I was the first kid in my class whose parents were splitting up. At that age, no one wants to be seen as being different or weird, so I kept our family problems to myself and didn't even tell my two best friends. My little sister and I were raised by our mother, the most amazing woman in the world. She worked so hard; she sacrificed and gave up so much so that my sister and I could go to private school, play club volleyball, go to school dances, so we could be normal kids.
Although we didn't have a lot of money, we had so much love! And even though she couldn't give me all the materialistic things teenage girls want, she gave me so much more. She was my biggest supporter, my number one fan who always believed in me (even when I didn't believe in myself) and constantly told me to dream big. She didn't finish college before she got married, so she always stressed the importance of going to school and getting a good education. She wanted us to be able to provide for our families if we were ever in the same situation.
I worked hard in school to get good grades, and I graduated as salutatorian of my class. I decided to go to college and pursue a degree engineering. I applied to school's all over the U.S. and decided to go to the Colorado School of Mines in Golden, CO and study environmental engineering. This was my first time leaving the only home I had ever known, leaving my mom and my little sister to go to a brand new school, new city, new state where I knew absolutely no one. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life.
Before I left home, my mom gave me a magnet with a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson on it. "Do not follow where the path may lead - Go instead, where there is no path, and leave a trail." As you can tell from this blog, that quote has a very special meaning to me. I still have the magnet (almost 11 years later!); I carried it with me to every house I lived in while I was in college. And now, I have it at my desk where I can see it everyday I come to work.
Being a young, female engineer is hard. I am the only female engineer at my work and there are days that I definitely struggle. Today is one of those days. I question my decision to become an engineer and wonder what life would be like if I had chosen a different career path. I loved what I learned in school, but I guess I just imagined things would be different once I started my career. I don't know...I guess everyone goes through little funks at their jobs too. But on days like today, I repeat the Emerson quote in my head and it reminds me how I got to where I am. I can hear my mother's encouraging words and I remember why I am here. I did not spend all those sleepless nights studying for exams and finishing projects in college for nothing! Although there is not an easy path laid out before me, I know it will all be worth it!
P.S. I know this isn't the kind of posts you were probably expecting from me. We are so busy just trying to unpack and get things organized at the house that I haven't had any time to start a project and haven't even cooked a real meal yet...but they're coming soon, so please hang in there! :) I just figured in the mean time, I could give a little background about me. Plus I always feel better after expressing my feelings. Have a wonderful day!
Dear One, the road you traveled as a child with a wonderful Mother is part of wonderful you today. She instilled in you strength and courage and love. Strength: You because you stayed the course through Mines and the work places and now in an environment with men. Courage: You show it every day. Love: You in a cute little package.
ReplyDeleteGod planted you here for reasons yet to be made known. I was blessed to meet you is one reason I am sure.
Now go home and fry chicken!!
Keep your head up Jade. If you were my little girl, I would be one proud daddy!
ReplyDelete-Collin
Hey Jade, it's Kim (tall Kim) from MT! I know exactly what you mean about engineering! Looking back, I think I would have been an accountant. But, on the other hand, it comes down to we all know we are going to work about 8 hours a day, and would we rather be paid $80-$100 at the end of that day, or $160-$240 at the end of that day? So at least, no matter what path you picked, you picked one where the bastards have to value your time!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, hope that the rest of your week is going better. I'm about 3-5 weeks from popping out a kid, so I'm not very work oriented myself right now, but at least it makes the time pass. (Also, this is why I won't be seeing Italy with you guys in June. Dang it!)
Hope you are doing well, and you haven't had too many creepy 18-wheel drivers hitting on you on the interstate!
Good ole Mrs. Mooney.... us & our quotes! (my favcrite - it's not the size of the dog in the fight; it's the size of the fight in the dog.) You are an amazing young woman & have always had the highest standards & reached for the stars. Hang in there, life certainly is full of ups & downs - ALWAYS!!! I love you so much & am so proud of you. Your mom!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/heidi-grant-halvorson-phd/girls-confidence_b_828418.html
ReplyDeleteFunny that I read the above article the morning after reading your post--I'm sure you can also completely relate to being a "Bright Girl". I also know how difficult it can be being the only female in an engineering firm. It definitely sucks at times. I hope you get out of this funk quickly and find again the love you once had for engineering =)
However, there's always different ways you can use your engineering background even within your current company. I have a friend from grad school that was really disliking her engineering job after a year of graduating and thinking of switching careers. But she grabbed the opportunity to get more involved in the marketing side of her firm and now loves what she does without having to leave the engineering field. If the funk lasts for more than a month, you might want to talk to your boss about other responsibilities that might appeal to you.
Hope today is a better day!